Howl and Other Poems

HOWL for Carl Solomon

                    I

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,
       starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for
       an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection
       to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking
       in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating
       across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw
       Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs
       illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating
       Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing
       obscene odes on the windows of the skull,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their money
       in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror through the wall,
who got busted in their pubic beards returning through Laredo
       with a belt of marijuana for New York,
who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in Paradise Alley,
       death, or purgatoried their torsos night after night
with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol and
       cock and endless balls,
incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in the
       mind leaping toward poles of Canada & Paterson,
       illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,
Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery dawns,
       wine drunkenness over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of
       teahead joyride neon blinking traffic light, sun and moon
       and tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brooklyn,
       ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind,
who chained themselves to subways for the endless ride from Battery
       to holy Bronx on benzedrine until the noise of wheels and
       children brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked
       and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance in the
       drear light of Zoo,
who sank all night in submarine light of Bickford’s floated out and
       sat through the stale beer afternoon in desolate Fugazzi’s,
       listening to the crack of doom on the hydrogen jukebox,
who talked continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar to
       Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,
a lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the
       stoops off fire escapes off windowsills off Empire State out
       of the moon,
yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories
       and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and
       jails and wars,
whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights
       with brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the
       pavement,
who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a trail of
       ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic City Hall,
suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grindings and
       migraines of China under junk-withdrawal in Newark’s
       bleak furnished room,
who wandered around and around at midnight in the railroad yard
       wondering where to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts,
who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing through snow
       toward lonesome farms in grandfather night,
who studied Plotinus Poe St. John of the Cross telepathy and bop
       kaballa because the cosmos instinctively vibrated at their
       feet in Kansas,
who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking visionary indian
       angels who were visionary indian angels,
who thought they were only mad when Baltimore gleamed in
       supernatural ecstasy,
who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Oklahoma on the
       impulse of winter midnight streetlight smalltown rain,
who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston seeking jazz
       or sex or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to
       converse about America and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so
       took ship to Africa,
who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving behind
       nothing but the shadow of dungarees and the lava and ash
       of poetry scattered in fireplace Chicago,
who reappeared on the West Coast investigating the F.B.I. in
       beards and shorts with big pacifist eyes sexy in their dark
       skin passing out incomprehensible leaflets,
who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting the narcotic
       tobacco haze of Capitalism,
who distributed Supercommunist pamphlets in Union Square
       weeping and undressing while the sirens of Los Alamos
       wailed them down, and wailed down Wall, and the Staten
       Island ferry also wailed,
who broke down crying in white gymnasiums naked and
       trembling before the machinery of other skeletons,
who bit detectives in the neck and shrieked with delight in
       policecars for committing no crime but their own wild
       cooking pederasty and intoxication,
who howled on their knees in the subway and were dragged off the
       roof waving genitals and manuscripts,
who let themselves be fucked in the ass by saintly motorcyclists,
       and screamed with joy,
who blew and were blown by those human seraphim, the sailors,
       caresses of Atlantic and Caribbean love,
who balled in the morning in the evenings in rosegardens and the
       grass of public parks and cemeteries scattering their semen
       freely to whomever come who may,
who hiccupped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up with a sob
       behind a partition in a Turkish Bath when the blonde &
       naked angel came to pierce them with a sword,
who lost their loveboys to the three old shrews of fate the one eyed
       shrew of the heterosexual dollar the one eyed shrew that
       winks out of the womb and the one eyed shrew that does
       nothing but sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden
       threads of the craftsman’s loom,
who copulated ecstatic and insatiate with a bottle of beer a
       sweetheart a package of cigarettes a candle and fell off the
       bed, and continued along the floor and down the hall and
       ended fainting on the wall with a vision of ultimate cunt
       and come eluding the last gyzym of consciousness,
who sweetened the snatches of a million girls trembling in the
       sunset, and were red eyed in the morning but prepared to
       sweeten the snatch of the sunrise, flashing buttocks under
       barns and naked in the lake,
who went out whoring through Colorado in myriad stolen
       night-cars, N.C., secret hero of these poems, cocksman and
       Adonis of Denver — joy to the memory of his innumerable
       lays of girls in empty lots & diner backyards, moviehouses’
       rickety rows, on mountaintops in caves or with gaunt
       waitresses in familiar roadside lonely petticoat upliftings
       & especially secret gas-station solipisisms of johns, &
       hometown alleys too,
who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in dreams, woke
       on a sudden Manhattan, and picked themselves up out of
       basements hungover with heartless Tokay and horrors of
       Third Avenue iron dreams & stumbled to unemployment
       offices,
who walked all night with their shoes full of blood on the
       snowbank docks waiting for a door in the East River to
       open to a room full of steamheat and opium,
who created great suicidal dramas on the apartment cliff-banks of
       the Hudson under the wartime blue floodlight of the moon
       & their heads shall be crowned with laurel in oblivion,
who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested the crab at
       the muddy bottom of the rivers of Bowery,
who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of
       onions and bad music,
who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and
       rose up to build harpsichords in their lofts,
who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame
       under the tubercular sky surrounded by orange crates of
       theology,
who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty incantations
       which in the yellow morning where stanzas of gibberish,
who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht & tortillas
       dreaming of the pure vegetable kingdom,
who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for an egg,
who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for
       Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads
       every day for the next decade,
who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccessfully, gave up
       and were forced to open antique stores where they thought
       they were growing old and cried,
who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits on Madison
       Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse & the tanked-up clatter
       of the iron regiments of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks
       of the fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister
       intelligent editors, or were run down by the drunken
       taxicabs of Absolute Reality,
who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and
       walked away unknown and forgotten into the ghostly daze
       of Chinatown soup alleyways & firetrucks, not even one
       free beer,
who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of the subway
       window, jumped in the filthy Passaic, leaped on negroes,
       cried all over the street, danced on broken wineglasses
       barefoot smashed phonograph records of nostalgic European
       1930’s German jazz finished the whiskey and threw up
       groaning into the bloody toilet, moans in their ears and the
       blast of colossal steamwhistles,
who barreled down the highways of the past journeying to each
       other’s hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude watch or Birmingham
       jazz incarnation,
who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out if I had a
       vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out
       Eternity,
who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to
       Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver &
       brooded & loned in Denver and finally went away to find
       out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,
who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each
       other’s salvation and light and breasts, until the soul
       illuminated its hair for a second,
who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for impossible
       criminals with golden heads and the charm of reality in
       their hearts who sang sweet blues to Alcatraz,
who retired to Mexico to cultivate a habit, or Rocky Mount to
       tender Buddha or Tangiers to boys or Southern Pacific to
       the black locomotive or Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn
       to the daisychain or grave,
who demanded sanity trials accusing the radio of hypnotism &
       were left with their insanity & their hands & a hung jury,
who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturers on Dadaism and
       subsequently presented themselves on the granite steps of
       the madhouse with shaven heads and harlequin speech of
       suicide, demanding instantaneous lobotomy,
and who were given instead the concrete void of insulin metrasol
       electricity hydrotherapy psychotherapy occupational therapy
       pingpong & amnesia,
who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic pingpong
       table, resting briefly in catatonia,
       returning years later truly bald except for a wig of blood, and tears
       and fingers, to the visible madman doom of the wards of
       the madtowns of the East,
Pilgrim State’s Rockland’s and Greystone’s foetid halls, bickering
       with the echoes of the soul, rocking and rolling in the
       midnight solitude-bench dolmen-realms of love, dream of life
       a nightmare, bodies turned to stone as heavy as the moon,
with mother finally ******, and the last fantastic book flung out
       of the tenement window, and the last door closed at 4 AM
       and the last telephone slammed at the wall in reply and the
       last furnished room emptied down to the last piece of
       mental furniture, a yellow paper rose twisted on a wire
       hanger in the closet, and even that imaginary, nothing but
       a hopeful little bit of hallucination —
ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you’re
       really in the total animal soup of time —
and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed with a
       sudden flash of the alchemy of the use of the ellipse the
       catalog the meter & the vibrating plane,
who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space through
       images juxtaposed, and trapped the archangel of the soul
       between 2 visual images and joined the elemental verbs
       and set the noun and dash of consciousness together jumping
       with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus
to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human prose and stand
       before you speechless and intelligent and shaking with
       shame, rejected yet confessing out the soul to conform to
       the rhythm of thought in his naked and endless head,
the madman bum and angel beat in Time, unknown, yet putting
       down here what might be left to say in time come after
       death,
and rose reincarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in the goldhorn
       shadow of the band and blew the suffering of America’s
       naked mind for love into an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani
       saxophone cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio
with the absolute heart of the poem of life butchered out of their
       own bodies good to eat a thousand years.

                    II

What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open their skulls
       and ate up their brains and imagination?
Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable
       dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys
       sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks!
Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the loveless!
       Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy judger of men!
Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the crossbone
       soulless jailhouse and Congress of sorrows! Moloch whose
       buildings are judgement! Moloch the vast stone of war!
       Moloch the stunned governments!
Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose blood is
       running money! Moloch whose fingers are ten armies!
       Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! Moloch whose
       ear is a smoking tomb!
Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! Moloch whose
       skyscrapers stand in the long streets like endless Jehovahs!
       Moloch whose factories dream and croak in the fog!
       Moloch whose smokestacks and antennae crown the cities!
Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch whose soul is
       electricity and banks! Moloch whose poverty is the
       specter of genius! Moloch whose fate is a cloud of sexless
       hydrogen! Moloch whose name is the Mind!
Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream Angels!
       Crazy in Moloch I Cocksucker in Moloch! Lacklove and
       manless in Moloch!
Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom I am a
       consciousness without a body! Moloch who frightened me
       out of my natural ecstasy! Moloch whom I abandon!
       Wake up in Moloch! Light streaming out of the sky!
Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs!
       skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries!
       spectral nations! invincible madhouses! granite cocks!
       monstrous bombs!
They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pavements,
       trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven which exists
       and is everywhere about us!
Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies! gone down
       the American river!
Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole
       boatload of sensitive bullshit!
Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions! gone down
       the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs! Ten years’
       animal screams and suicides! Minds! New loves! Mad
       generation! down on the rocks of Time!
Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the wild eyes!
       the holy yells! They bade farewell! They jumped off the
       roof! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to
       the river! into the street!

                    III

Carl Solomon! I’m with you in Rockland
       where you’re madder than I am
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you must feel very strange
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you imitate the shade of my mother
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you’ve murdered your twelve secretaries
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you laugh at this invisible humor
I’m with you in Rockland
       where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter
I’m with you in Rockland
       where your condition has become serious and is reported on
       the radio
I’m with you in Rockland
       where the faculties of the skull no longer admit the worms
       of the senses
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you drink the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of
       Utica
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you pun on the bodies of your nurses the harpies of
       the Bronx
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you scream in a straightjacket that you’re losing the
       game of the actual pingpong of the abyss
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you bang on the catatonic piano the soul is innocent
       and immortal it should never die ungodly in an armed
       madhouse
I’m with you in Rockland
       where fifty more shocks will never return your soul to its
       body again from its pilgrimage to a cross in the void
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you accuse your doctors of insanity and plot the
       Hebrew socialist revolution against the fascist national
       Golgotha
I’m with you in Rockland
       where you will split the heavens of Long Island and resurrect
       your living human Jesus from the superhuman tomb
I’m with you in Rockland
       where there are twentyfive-thousand mad comrades all
       together singing the final stanzas of the Internationale
I’m with you in Rockland
       where we hug and kiss the United States under our
       bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and won’t
       let us sleep
I’m with you in Rockland
       where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own
       souls’ airplanes roaring over the roof they’ve come to drop
       angelic bombs the hospital illuminates itself imaginary
       walls collapse O skinny legions run outside O starry-
       spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here O victory
       forget your underwear we’re free
I’m with you in Rockland
       in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the
       highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage
       in the Western night

Allen Ginsberg. Howl and Other Poems. (Next Poem)